by Ras Bulba
An explosion at the Farrugia ‘skunkworks’ rocked the East End of Ostburg last night. Local residents claim the blast shook buildings as far as five streets away and an eerie green glow illuminated the sky that seemed to emanate from the workshops. Strangely though apart from a lot of broken glass, fallen roof tiles and collapsed chimneys there seemed to be very little damage caused and certainly no fire damage. Ostburg City Guard were quickly on the scene and prevented anyone (including the fire brigade strangely enough) from entering either the Farrugia works or the neighbouring East End Skunks’ stadium! An eye witness had this to say:
“Aye, it were right queer it were, me an’ the missus were just settlin’ down for the night an’ I could feel like a peculiar frobbin in me ‘ead an’ then the ‘hole house started shakin’ like a right bastard! Bugger this I thought an’ we ran out into the back alley, I nearly got clobbered wiv a fallin’ roof tile n’all I did! It’s them bloody Farrugia’s at it again I said to the wife an’ sure enough lookin’ down the alley to the back of the works I could see this queer glow! By this time all the houses we shakin’ and bits was fallin’ off ‘em an’ all the neighbours were out in the alley. We’s used to explosions an’ such from that lot at the works so most of me neighbours just trotted off down to the Spanked Monkey for an ale an’ wait for it all to stop but curiosity got the better of me this time an’ me an’ the missus went up the alley a bit to see what we could see like. By the time we got to the end of the alley an’ were at the back wall to the works everyfin was shakin’ and rattlin’ an’ I could ‘ardly ‘ear me self fink then BANG! Well I says bang but there was no sound not even from all the shakin’, there was a bright flash and it was like all the sound just went, we was thrown to the ground, the glow was gone, an’ we could ‘ear again, the shakin had stopped, apart from a few fallin’ chimenees. Just when we didn’t fink it could get weirder we ‘eard a high pitch scream an’ a figure came flying froo the air from out of the works an’ landed in the alley not ten feet away! I looked at the missus an’ she looked at me and we ran over the poor sod and saw it was a gobo in a queer lookin’ suit an’ broken fish bowl on ‘is ‘ead! Poor little bugger was groanin’ an’ we was gonna ‘elp ‘im but just then we saw a couple the Farrugia ‘blokes in black’ runnin’ up the alley towards us. Well, round this way we all knows not to ‘ave any fin’ to do wiv them buggers so me an’ the missus scarpered quick like the other way. We could ‘ear the poor bugger shouting ‘no, no, I don’t wanna go back in there!’...”
A strange account indeed. Farrugia Engineering have of course got several workshops around the city but the ‘skunkworks’ (so called for it close proximity to the Red Rocket Stadium – home of the East End Skunks) has an infamous reputation for strange goings on and is notoriously hard to gain entry to. Rumours abound and the City Guard are always on hand whenever there is an incident there yet no one is ever seen to be arrested except it seems for nosey locals and overly inquisitive reporters. This reporter himself was sure he was being followed after attending the scene, though nothing came of it.
So what are the Farrugia’s up to behind those impenetrable walls? Your guess is as good as mine...
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