by Juno Lister
The rest of the flight was very unusual. The cabin was very quiet, the passengers the stewardesses and even the Bard were all a little dumbstruck at what had happened. I had lost my window seat to Hunt-Fawshaw who had never flown before so he sat there face a glow looking out at the moonlit landscape below. He had just had a horrendous night by anybody else’s' standards. Stowed away on a moving airship, dressed as a woman in a pair of shoes that were killing him, propositioned by a bloke in the toilets, disarmed a terrorist with a sword whilst unarmed who wanted to kill him. Killed said terrorist by throwing him to his death.(apparently woke him from being out cold to make sure he could enjoy the experience too) yet he sat there with a lolly stick sticking out of the side of his mouth gazing out of the window not a care in the world just another day in a guard's life.
Soon we could see the little dots of light of the street lanterns on the bastions of San Pedro. As we drew near we circled round the walled city that is perched so majestically on top of a mountain half way up the range of mountains leading to The Rim. It was early morning, still dark the drone of the Airship reverberated around the small winding streets of San Pedro. Marginally missing the dome of San Pedro Parish church the Airship span round and settled down on a landing pad which is a wooden pier like structure on a metal frame support jutting out between the city and the mountains. After some bouncing around on the landing pad and some hairy moments when I thought we'd be falling off the side, we came to a standstill and I could see the San Pedrian ground staff tying the airship down.
We stepped off the ship and immediately the musky humid heat of San Pedro hit us. Hunt-Fawshaw made a b-line for a San Pedrian guard that was sat guarding the entrance into the city. He was sat in a little green sentry box sword belt slung on the floor feet outstretched and crossed arms straight down by his sides, head down, and chin on breast plate fast asleep. "Ahem….." Hunt-Fawshaw said to the now snoring guard whose dribble was running down his breast plate. "I need to report to your barracks” The San Pedro guard opened up one eye looked up at us , closed it and then as realisation dawned on him that a Valroma City guard was stood in front of him jumped to attention and with a big smile
"Hello my fellow Guard,…Guard Stan Deezi at your service"
The two guards stood and talked like old brothers. I left them to it saying my goodbyes and was able to arrange to meet Hunt-Fawshaw before the match. I had to make my way down to the end of Strada Vittoria to St Sebastian's chapel and the home of top San Pedrian bloodbowl pundit Padre Hilario. As I walked down the gas lamp lit streets San Pedro's early risers were still thinking about it and I looked at the yellow limestone houses their shutters firmly closed .Those that weren't, were blowing in the relentless San Pedrian wind knocking against the bricks sprinkling limestone dust onto the balcony floors and onto the street below. I reached Hilario's door and to my surprise found a sign on the church door.
'CRIME SCENE KEEP OUT'
There was a yellow rope surrounding the chapel. I stood by the cordon and wondered ….what the hell had Hilario been up to now and where was I going to stay. Then I heard a "pssst" coming from behind me. I turned to see that there was a cellar grating under the house opposite the chapel with a sign above it saying S.P.F.W.C. The grate was moving and a head of a familiar Bloodbowl pundit was making the noise. He was beckoning me to come over; I started to walk towards the cellar. Then at that moment around the corner of the chapel came a San Pedro Guard doing up his trousers .Hilario dived down and closed the gate I was left stood looking quite out of sorts in the middle of a San Pedro street early hours of the morning staring at a cellar grate. The guard looked at me suspiciously. He had blue eyes that drilled into me a very short fair to greying goatee beard. He stood there arms out by his side belly pushed out like he was carrying carpets under his arms. An athletic looking chap he walked towards me and said in a sort of half San Pedrian half highlands type accent.
"Eh tell me! What are you doing?" In fear of landing Hilario in the proverbial I said
"Oh Hi there a …erm Guard, sir, I kind of a dropped a coin down this grate"
" I see …I will open it up and get it for you " with this he started to open up the grate by levering his sword under the grate, whilst doing this he told me
"I am on crime scene watch, but I wanted to go to pee …very sad business dis. Padre Hilario has been caught claiming too much expenses"
"Really?" I exclaimed trying to look surprised "tell me more"
The guard took his helmet off to reveal a large brow that met his short cropped grey fair hair on the top of his pale face. He mopped said brow and leaned on his sword and told me
"Hi my name is Guard Trikku D'aragona I tell you what happen. Well he bought dis new cart...and de Archbishop got suspicious of how he got de money so he looked at de chapel accounts and found dat Hilario was claiming too much for himself. So we came down last night to arrest him for de fraud but he was gone"
With this the guard placed his sword under the grate one more time and levered it off, he smiled at me and jumped down into the cellar below….I jumped down too thinking I'd just fed Hilario to the lions when Trikku lit a torch which revealed Padre Hilario standing there in full habit with a coin in his hand with a cheesy grin on his face. He was surrounded by sacks….. Trikku said
“Tankyou "… took the coin from Hilario gave it to me and climbed out the Cellar. He reached down to pull me up but I said " No it's ok it looks quite comfortable down here"
“You tink so? Oh ok I stay up here as dey say Hilario is close by and I want to be de guard to get him"
Off Trikku went .
Hilario beckoned me to say nothing placing that universal single finger across the lips. He led me through the dark into a series of tunnels and soon we were sitting in his drawing room across the road beside the chapel drinking Prickly Pear liquor,
He had indeed been caught cooking the books but his new Cart which was hidden was a beauty, a Skorda with the pimped up wheels. He couldn't resist buying it and well the guards were looking to arrest him. As for Trikku it wasn't the last I was going to see of him. The sun was coming up when we took to our beds and I fell into a well deserved sleep
I slept a good part of the morning but I woke up to the sound of a huge explosion. I opened my eyes and saw dust flying through the window of the Bedroom. Hilario leapt out of his bed he was shouting at me to get down. I rolled off my bed and hit the floor as loud screeching fizzing and banging ensued. I looked up and a large amount of reds green and gold flames were illuminating the room even though it must have been about lunchtime. Why had my life become so eventful!
"I tink da fireworks club has set on fire across de road" then it dawned on me the sign across the cellar SPFWC ...San Pedro Fire Works Club. I peered out of the window gingerly avoiding a bright silver spark that bounced off the ledge. I looked down and there standing amongst the debris with fireworks going off all around him looking quite dazed, blackened and scorched was Guard Trikku….He was holding the bottom of a torch that had been blown to bits…..and slowly walking around in a circle shouting " It's a terrorist attack .De San Pedro People's Front have Hilario in da cellar I went down and den dey try to blow me up!"
I needed to get right out of the area Hilario agreed, he showed me to the passage ways under the chapel and before I knew it I was like a rat in a drain pipe twisting and turning until I reached a small door in the ceiling. I pushed the door up and found myself in the San Pedro Rams Bloodbowl Stadium …A patcho Grasso...just under the main stand. I bet Hilario rents this passage out to people I thought to bypass buying tickets. I could still hear the confusion out in the streets and as I gazed up to the blue sky I wondered how I 'd got myself into this mess!!!! I climbed over the stadium wall brushed myself down and went to try and find some food…my bag and money were back at the chapel so I went to the San Pedro Times office to see if I could get a shower and something to eat, I walked pass the chapel were they were still trying to console Guard Trikku who was still shouting about terrorists and Padre Hilario I gingerly walked pass them and set off down Strada Vittoria.
